A Classic Christmas Parody: Away In The Suburbs

We are just 6 days out from Christmas Day and if you listen really closely you can hear the sound of sugar hyped children across the world excitedly chanting “Santa! Santa!” While parents everywhere can be heard taking deep breaths while trying to make it to Christmas morning with their sanity still intact. Perhaps you’re stuck in some random line wasting  hours of your life that you’ll NEVER get back, waiting to buy that hot new toy that your kid “has to have.” Or maybe you’re sitting in traffic as you make the trek in your overpacked minivan from the safety and serenity of your own home to your in-law’s house for an eye roll inducing, eggnog chugging, holiday celebration.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, here is my version of an old classic Christmas carol that will give you a much needed laugh in your time of stress. 



Away in the suburbs
No room in her bed
The sleep deprived mommy
Wanted to lay down her head

The night light in her bedroom
shone brightly that night

The sleep deprived mommy
knew she’d be alright

Her husband is snoring
The baby awakes

The sleep deprived mommy
Is starting to shake

I love you, sweet family
She says with a sigh

But ya’ll drive me crazy
And that is no lie

Oh coffee, I beg you
Help me survive this day

I’ll love you forever
My kids are cray-cray

Bless all of my children
And my husband too

I’d hate to lose my shit
And end up on the news


May your cup of cheer runneth over!