Just Google it, Mom…

I’ve read that the average child asks roughly 288 questions per day. I’m not impressed. In my house, it’s more like 562. Which leads me to the purpose of this blog…

My son has odd and thought provoking questions each day that I struggle to understand the point of, much less have a legitimate answer for. My husband (aka the smart one, aka the repository for useless facts, aka the guy who disappears everyday from 8-5) thinks it’s wonderfully precocious AND that we should be encouraging this whimsical curiosity.

Amateur.

I should note that I am the stay at home ringmaster of this circus, so I’m not exposed to these lovable creatures in small doses like “the smart one” is. That might actually be one of the reasons he’s the smart one. Well played, husband.

Circus

Whatever. I know he’d instantly jump to the dark side if we switched roles in some parallel universe.

After disagreeing with my husband because that’s married people do, it occurred to me that it could be comical, maybe even cathartic to document the daily inquiries from these charming and inquisitive little prodigies. As a bonus, I get to confront how little I know as the adult who’s been tasked with molding these young minds.

Kids ask questions

Surprise! You actually know nothing.

And no, I don’t homeschool them. All of this inquisitiveness isn’t the product of free range homeschooled children. 

Big Boss and Baby Boss, as I’ll affectionately refer to them, are ages six and three. Big Boss has been the instigator to date. Baby Boss just asks “why” A LOT and that’s an easy one, the answer is always “because” and for now this answer pleases her, but I know she’s soaking up every ounce of training that Big Boss is providing. It terrifies me that in another year they’ll be tag teaming me. I’ll have to hire an assistant just to help with the research.

I know what you’re thinking, tell Big Boss to go play Minecraft, that’ll distract him. Unfortunately he was born with a borderline superhuman memory and his question just goes into a holding queue until his Minecraft time expires.

He also innocently delights in saying things like, “Google It, Mom” or “Dad would know the answer…” Well played, spawn of “the smart one.”

Let me Google it

So, maybe I’m not alone in my ignorance of random facts and some other wayward souls will benefit from this journey. It’s okay. You can feel safe here.

I’ll go first. My name is Kari, I am thirty-four and I don’t know who the first emperor of China was.

Liberating.

Repeat after me, “We will survive this. They will be thirteen soon enough and refuse to acknowledge our existence.”

Now stifle that urge to sob. We can’t let them see weakness, it only makes them stronger.

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